There's a certain obligation and compromise when you become part of a band. You have to divide yourself into two sections - Personal life and band life. You can't have people interfering with your dreams, nor can you have some lover/wife/boyfriend who is supposed to understand and adapt to the life of a rockstar in the first place, to tell you what to do with your band.
Unless, of course, it is good criticism that advices the band to strive.
This weekend, I hear of a band that recently had to switch members due to some wife's attitude. That is just absolutely unacceptable. The band's had a strong, tight line-up, not to say friendship, for about five years, and just because the wife of the vocalist had issues with jealousy and incapability to accept the band members and their lovers, (see what I mean by not letting 'personal life' kacau?), she tells the vocalist to kick out the guitarist and the drummer.
Okay, that's not the stupid part.
The stupid part is that he listened.
And who's playing the guitar now? Some kid who doesn't even know how to tune his guitar right and play the solos that once conquered the songs.
Piss off, I'm pissed off about this.
To musicians' girlfriends/wives/boyfriends/husbands/mistresses, etc:-
Look. You wanted to be with them because of who they are. So there's a compromise. There's a certain freedom a musician possesses that you have to accept the moment you hold their hand. You can't own them. You have to accept this. And their band actions should not have anything to do with you. If you have a problem with any of their bandmates, you just have to swallow it. That's what a supportive lover is. Not someone who tells your husband to kick out the drummer because you fell out with his girlfriend. Babi betul.
Musicians have a wild soul, they mingle, they socialize, they mix. They get famous, and people (both guys and girls) will swarm up on them. You can't even THINK about being jealous in this situation. If you want a guy who listens to everything you say and stay at home, marry a god damn business man. And even with them, you can't own them. So imagine a free-willed musician.
To the musicians with controlling lovers:-
You can let them control you on your TV programs, on the food you eat and the things you do, but never ever let them near your music life. You start a band, you love the band, you live the band. You don't suddenly give control of your band-making decisions to your wife/husband. That's just wrong. If they really are good lovers, they would want the best for you and want you to succeed. They wouldn't kick out GOOD musicians and replace them with background faces because they have stupid personal issues, that are half the time immature anyway.
If they can't accept that you have to have this part of freedom with you the rest of your life, I'm sorry man, you're going to be taking care of kids at home, cooking dinner for wifey in no time. If they respect you, they'd compromise, not hold your ball-sacks and expect you to obey.
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Band name disclosed, by the way, I'm not a tell-tale. :)
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With Love,
KL Mosher
3 comments:
Haish! Ni jer u tulis. Byk kot time i borak ngn you.
hahaha! thats why ramai musician x kawin.. XD
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